1. Do not be surprised.
2. Stay away from zombies. Most of the time you can move faster than them.
3. Get food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons and retreat to a safe place.
4. If possible, Get into a mall, a store or other place where you have easy access to food and supplies.
5. Stay away from densely populated areas where the infection is probably higher.
6. Use barricades at all entrances and remain quiet at all costs.
7. Do not get surrounded or trapped in a corner or enclosed space.
8. Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and yours.
9. Wait patiently for the rescue and make long term preparations for their survival.
Howstuffworks "How Zombies Work"
All we ever thought of seeing zombie movies that the characters are idiots. When first approaching a staggering zombie proteases, they do not hesitate to come to "help the poor drunk" while we shouted to run. Never missing smartass telling half the film "What a fool!" If I were he would leave them all behind and that Fuck.
But that is the tool used by horror movies to give us more miedito: that the protagonists commit follies when their lives are in danger. And so it is normal to think that a catastrophe of biblical characteristics such as a zombie invasion , we believe we are better able to human survival.
This is the first proof that I who will throw you a bullet in the head because you'll be the first to become. Against the Ego zombies can not do anything. It does you think you are the best at what you do. You have to prove you're the best in that situation. The laws of nature are reversed when a fucking brain dead high your ass to be pursued a vichisuas.
But luckily I'll share my wisdom and my knowledge collected over four years of incessant paranoia for the sake of human survival.
KNOW YOUR ENEMY
all know how to recognize a zombie: It stinks, has worms in his eyes, walk slowly extending the arms to you and wants to eat your face. But did you know that were not always this way?
stories about zombies are back for a looooong time ago in history. But they had another name: Ghouls.
Their customs were more or less the same. Haunted cemeteries, but only eat dead human flesh. That
explains why in the Ghost Ghouls and zombies only left in the first phase.
MY KINGDOM FOR A GUN
Over time, it was losing that cultural remnant and was replaced by a more exotic we mainly present name: The Haitian Zombie.
This era was characterized by a living being without a soul, fulfilling the mandates of a Wizard Tribal.
This sorcerer possessed the souls of his army of zombies in boots that decorated his hut and gave them orders everything it wanted.
early twentieth century that fear shamanistic was used in American cinema terror as a metaphor for the slaves before they were bad bad very bad and could not mingle with the white and Christian daughters.
ACKNOWLEDGE, you too Playing God was cool.
And so to the 60's, when they invented the Cold War and with it came the pump. Fear radioactive
splashed all other fears accumulated in our dirty capitalist society that oppresses the worker and the zombie turns into a creature built by human evil, and strikes without rhyme or reason.
The child, the child, the father, the mother and grandmother. To all alike. No matter age, sex or race. All can be turned into zombies by a single bite.
become the ideal socialist bitch.
TYPES OF ZOMBIES
As degenerative liver disease by drinking vanilla coke, zombies are of many types. Everything will depend on its origin.
Here is the major point of disagreement at the time to understand what happens during the zombie invasion.
It is best to try to know all possible types and act on them quickly using the system of "trial and error."
RADIATION:
Whether nuclear waste, strange solar activity, the tail of a comet's atmosphere plays or eclipse Partial sun goes wrong.
are screwed because their attacks can not only kill, but their mere presence will make you sick by the radiation they emit.
DISEASE:
A virus has caused their bodies to rot and attack any living human being.
They may be alive or not, but that does not matter. A simple scratch, bite or spit your blood would become sick with the virus and pierce a part of his legion. IRA DIVINA
:
Here would shit. If God is crossing the wires and raises the dead from their graves, you will have to shut up and fuck. Da
kill many zombies as the bitch will come a Once you die (of old or eaten). If this is the case, all zombies will die.
Whether you have been bitten, as if they have flown the head. Whatever. God has raised up in a bad mood and Eon must end.
The best would survive if you were OPUS, you were subscribed to the lookout and singing in a Christian Rock group.
At worst, you would only buy untártelo barbecue sauce in the body and prepare for the best Jam Session in Hell with John Lee Hooker, Jimmy Hendrix, and Compay Segundo.
CURSE:
may be the case a witch, shaman, Nazi or young fan who listens to a disc back from their favorite moose entrails of the earth a legion of undead.
In these cases the invasion is not total, but have a particular goal.
The way to end the curse is reversing and staying with the girl.
turn, depends on whether the zombie has recently died. The longer you are dead, move slower, but its bite is mortality higher. (The things you nailed rotting flesh in your body.)
exam question, hotshot: WHICH OF THESE TWO prefer to make IN A FAST AND HUNGRY ZOMBIE?
THE FIRST NIGHT
is important to be alert to survive from the first night. That is the hardest of all because it is the breaking of the fundamental pillars of civilization and that is always traumatic for the individual.
I think it was Montesquieu who cited in his famous "Persian Letters":
"The Freethinkers Dominicans have never taken into account the socio-cultural impact that could lead to a lack of geopolitical vision. Someday zombies will come and eat their stinking heads full of ideas retrograde. never catch me alive, you bastards. " Montesquieu Persian Letters
Anthology Site "Editorial Hecatombe
MONTESQUIEU: Enlightenment philosophers and French trial.
CREATED THE THREE POWERS AND DEVELOPED THE FIRST POLITICAL ZOMBIE IN DEFENSE POLICY.
That first night is like a Cosmic Selectivity which only the strongest and most prepared will survive.
Mentalízate that from the time when the first dead start walking, social order will be meaningless. You should not let your feelings interfere with the need.
You go looking now to those around you and if you really deserve to survive.
studied their psychology, how they react to moments of crisis and stress and what is its pyramid of priorities. Submit
your friends and family to analysis to measure how far your patience, composure, Solidarity and physical health.
Take notes of the defects and virtues are, and their knowledge.
If necessary, create tables in which to put aside the life-saving benefits and other defects in case you need to book a bullet to his head.
The goal is to create one list of at least 5 people, maximum 10 that deserve to be by your side. Out of that list, the rest are just strangers that are worth carrying in their backpacks.
WHAT friend of yours would shoot first?
The first night is the hardest because it is a stage of "transition"
Governments try to control the situation, much of the population have hopes of surviving, private property will remain very important and will be difficult asides components to your list of friends and family. So you have to think about yourself, leave it all behind and find a neutral zone.
But all is not as easy as it seems ...
"Dissolve, HERE THERE IS NOTHING TO DO. JUST A DRUNK HAS EATEN YOU FACE TO STATE."
All
start slowly.
As if they were isolated incidents.
But when they realize it's too late.
Nor is concerned that Americans be like storing food and water in their basements. That's
freaks.
Why are you going to carry the food if you know where? SUPPLY
When you kill your first zombie and see approach to the second, do not waste your time.
Look where you hand over a bag and put two bottles of water, nuts, condensed milk and chocolate. These foods are high energy and give you strength in the coming days. Be very easy loading, do not interfere when running and take up little space.
important thing is to think where to get it. Obviously a supermarket or a mall are not only quantity but variety, right?
ERROR. There is nothing worse than getting into a supermarket full of people panicked and probably infected by the syndrome "zombie."
There will be easy prey for zombies, terrified civilians, looters and public order forces to open fire will not last as long as the masses dissolve.
must go directly to the typical neighborhood convenience stores. These tiny that you always fill a nice little old lady (now zombie and must be run) and at the top of the shelves have cans than 23 years ago lost its label. There
have a place in which, for lack of space there will be little people and everything will be so handy that it will not take a minute to get everything you need.
But remember! Do not miss out on greed! The more things
lame, the slower and more attractive for looters will be ...
IN A ZOMBIE ATTACK SHE COULD KILL FOR FOOD. WEAPONS
It's easy to say that with just a cut and your eggs will have everything fixed.
But remember, innocent creature of God who do not live in the USA and the weapons are illegal. And therefore will not be as easy to find one and use it to defend yourself.
most logical thing go to police stations and military barracks where there have mounted perimeter security and begin to organize the first militias to fight the zombies.
peeeeero think that, again is a mistake.
Both the police and military are trained to maintain public order and calm.
But they are not qualified to hold a slaughter by the supernatural element.
When the academy will teach them not to kill vampires or werewolves reduction.
Therefore, it is logical that their fragile minds are easily broken and instead of trying to fix things, have fortified their weapons and fire on all who approach you, either human or zombies. Without a leader prepared to give orders, in case of zombie attack, with weapons such areas are completely unsafe for the survivors.
Avoid them soon.
"TRANQUIL GUY IS NO ZOMBIE EAT ANY OF MY MEN!"
What is your time to find weapons?
A very handy first destination is the sports shops. Obviously
have a section of Fish and Game and there you apoderarte of firearms and ammunition. Take
Spearfishing guns also because it could be helpful.
But in a store with these characteristics have much around you to use as weapons:
tennis balls and ping pong, containers can be very useful for preparing small grenades and molotov cocktails.
hooks can be used as shrapnel and lights for night fishing buoys will serve to mark safe places or signal survivors.
Use your imagination and do not forget your binoculars. Another place
are easily obtain weapons institutes.
If schools. Or do not you remember that chemical laboratories are available to everyone?
can prepare a beautiful paper and sodium pumps that easily volatilize parts of the zombies with his mere touch.
But be extremely careful because if it can not handle injured or even dead.
also not forget to go through a hardware store, where at your disposal is an unlimited arsenal.
For example, if you mix turpentine with a ball of paper Albal have a powerful explosive.
YOUR MOTHER WAS RIGHT: THE QUIMICEFA I saved your life
SEEDS OF SURVIVAL
not think that having weapons and food for a few days you will have everything resolved.
We are talking about survival, that is, everything that will ensure you get a life of minimum hours.
must think long term.
This is one thing you need above all: INFORMATION.
Information to create defenses and self-sufficiency.
And the best thing you can do to get that information is on that same night apoderarte robbing a bookstore and two basic survival books (in case you have not been proactive and have not bought these titles online):
One is the book of THE FIGHT CLUB. A complete manual of urban warfare in which to explain how to make napalm with Nenuco and coke.
With their advice you will create more and more powerful weapons with which to fend off the zombies.
The other is titled THE COUNTRY LIFE and explains everything from how to choose and how to grow seeds that give the best products in an orchard, to how skinning farm animals.
course will help you later when you have found a safe haven and can repopulate the human species.
THE SURVIVAL BIBLE NEUTRAL ZONE
Once you've stocked up on weapons, food and information must go to the Neutral Zone, where you will be temporarily saved.
think will carry over, if you ignored me, only two water bottles, bags of nuts, condensed milk, chocolate, two books, binoculars and a weapon for melee and long distance (a bat and a shotgun hunting, for example).
So you can move without difficulty, ignoring you ask for help and visiting members of your list to save their lives (and may be useful for the reconstruction of civilization).
But where should be the Neutral Zone?.
should be a secluded but easily accessible, which cost them access zombies but you always have some superiority over them even if they are numerous. Have
multiple outlets for escape in case of need and that there are many survivors and have quarantine areas for them.
And there can be none other than the sea.
Those who live in coastal areas have that luck, but if you're from Madrid and read this, mentalízate: You will be the first to become a zombie.
Why is the sea? Mainly because there
not far you can dive deeper and stay always close to the coast a small boat.
Zombies can not approach you, because if you just enjoy walking coordination, do not have for something as complex as swimming. And even gets in a bit, the strong sea currents and the fact that they are dressed will make their undead bodies rush to the seafloor and are eaten by small fish.
The corpses in the water is inflated by the gas and end up floating, so it may hit in the head with his rifle and finish them off diving, and if the number gets higher, simply changing coast and waiting, again all to normal.
For inclement weather, simply deberás meter la embarcación dentro del muelle y cuando haya buen tiempo, por seguridad podrás sacarlo un poco más.
APRENDE DE CHANQUETE: NINGUN ZOMBIE ACABÓ NUNCA CON ÉL.
FUE EL COLESTEROL.
Durmiendo en el mar podrás estar seguro de que no te atacarán cuando más indefenso estés y los gemidos de los muertos no te entorpecerán el sueño.
Debes tener un descanso reparador para las duras jornadas diarias.
En el mar podrás almacenar todo el agua dulce que quieras, sin depender del espacio, atando las garrafas de agua al barco y dejando que floten alegremente.
También tendrás alimento marino pescando todo whatever you want.
If you see survivors, no need to maintain direct physical contact. You can create a standard quarantine protocol. That
stay on his boat for a month and when that period is over so if you want physical contact with that person and bartering.
From the coast you can see what is happening in the city, much as if the problem is solved or not. You can make light signals to the survivors of the city. And every so often
raiding ground for food, medicines, ammunition and leisure equipment (as deadly at this time may be the lack of food, boredom).
But to delve into a small land must meet basic standards:
* NEVER GET A GROUND FOR THE SAME AREA. bastards can finish learning that every time you step on a land.
* USE A ZODIAC. Never use your boat where you have to move Neutral Zone. This not only wastes fuel, but you can put in danger. When you run out of fuel for the zodiac used oars.
* Dress appropriately for Looting. You should not go as is to get into the city. Try to have a "uniform infiltration" you use just for that. Your mind
automatically prepare as soon as you see dressed that way and act more efficiently.
Try it with dark clothes that are comfortable for running.
Use a ski mask so you do not see you easily, cover with leather torso and hands so that in case of attack can not easily penetrate the layers of clothing, sweatpants and running shoes will allow you greater mobility.
And do not forget the empty bag to store what you find.
* NOT GO AT NIGHT OR IN POOR VISIBILITY . Your eyes are your greatest ally if you can not use then you will not get deep.
* BE ONE WITH THE WORLD. not pretend to be macho shooting and killing zombies. They are the masters now, mentalízate.
If you go into their territories should make a Ninja like stealth fucking Mozart.
Log in silence and leave in silence. Use
silent weapons to kill zombies isolated if you look at the need. Try
go to areas you know and if possible with multiple logins. Try
around the city from roof to roof.
And above all do not play the hero. If you get caught, run away quickly to the boat and wait for another time to get what you wanted.
* PREPARES ITEMS SECRETS EMERGENCY . Prepare small survival kits and let them hidden in parts of the city if necessary.
never know when something may happen to leave you injured and need assistance.
That these packages are small, easy concealment and access. Store in areas where you can pick up and use easily.
Bandages, sutures, alcohol, water, scissors, a can of food or nuts and a bottle of water can be the basic content.
poison Do not forget to take in case of extreme necessity.
* STORED ROUTE. Try to make a map of the city as soon as possible and mark the areas where you have the safety items and points of interest. Before you dive in town remembers the entry and exit routes, which should never be the same.
And try to always create a third alternative that gives you direct access to the sea.
If you keep the letter should not spend these tips you can survive anything and quietly for years.
think the hope of "non-life" of a zombie is about 10 to 15 years. After that time
tissues have decayed enough that are just skeletons lying in the streets and playgrounds.
If you can survive all that time you find a place on earth where you create a farm and live peacefully to be an adorable old man to tell his grandchildren one day there was a better world where they ate Oreo cookies and wasting our time saving money to buy a PSP. Or do
had not thought of choosing a companion for survival?
THE PARTNERS FOR SURVIVAL
Forget those busty blonde screaming when they see a bug and just throw away. These women
vase are just a nuisance.
Try to choose a companion for their knowledge, their capacity for times of crisis, which has strong arms to kill zombies strong back to carry weight and hips to bear many children.
We, as in normal life should come before the zombies.
NOT KNOW IF milk goats, let it DIE. Unfortunately
movies have misled us for a long time into believing that these mannequins with big breasts and powerful screams that will survive us. Notes
women around you now and when you find the best place it closer to the first profile on your list of survivors.
To recognize that women analyze it in their habits:
has always * DRUNK WITH GLASSES NOCILLA. If your home has been decorated cups are normal with the logo of Nutella, means that will not fall if it rings during a season must live in the sea, her hair parched by the salt and only rat to eat.
* DO NOT LIKE AND CAN REGGEATTON Tare the "Stairway to Heaven." Unfortunately music and general knowledge are closely linked.
If you cool the Caribbean Mix and all the paraphernalia that surrounds tunning show that his mental ratio is not suitable for solving basic problems of survival.
Luckily these so-called "Tecnopaquis" die in coverage lose their phones.
If, however, not only humming the "Stairway to Heaven" but can talk for hours about traditional Japanese music groups, try to stay with him for the major periods of crisis.
She is the brains of the team.
* ONOC THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STORMTROOPER AND a Klingon. If known, then it is a geek.
If you are a geek, you can talk with her and play games during times of nightlife.
* NO DOUBT IN THE STOMACH hit you if you get IT. That's good, then you have character. And the heroes forges character.
also not hesitate to drop a string of curses by mouth to the zombies at the right time, while holding his cut, which is very useful when you find yourself in dangerous situations and depend on it.
* LE MOLA KILL BILL and SIN CITY. will keep his cool in moments of action and when you see rivers of blood will not cry like a schoolgirl. Indeed
will save your ass more than once kicking zombie skulls.
* likes sex. No sex without children. Without children there is no human continuity.
End of story.
With all these tips you can prepare for survival after the apocalypse.
Note that is not the only way to survive and many of the tips are raised for the survival of a single individual.
These rules obviously change if a larger number of survivors and we have to form a community. Adapt In this case, mold your rules and when you see that thing where you can not for the egos of those who are around you, get out and abandon it before someone gets funny in male plan to kill zombies.
Over time you will learn to survive in a world full of corpses, to cheat to kill large groups of these zombies and "clean up" urban areas. Distrust
survivors because only what you want to steal him. Learn from the zombies and use them to your advantage. A friend of mine (the Nestorian Néstor, Néstor the Destroyer, Vol Gusindrojar, The Cultist has come) said that his plan was to use the zombies as an inexhaustible source of energy.
would tie in a wheel of pain and Conan to a handful of zombies and just ahead of you tie a brain so that they continually hiciesen turn that wheel and the wheel produjese electricity.
Electricity serve to create a city where survivors might be safe and worship him as their lord and master before they transcend as a god.
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